out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
