Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
