I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
