I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
