Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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