Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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