I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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