If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
