u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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