I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
