Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
