I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
