is your mom at the bar?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
