May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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