Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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