office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
