I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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