Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
