Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
