she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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