Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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