dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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