You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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