we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
