he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
