wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
