They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
