roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
