you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
