Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We're too hungover to prance.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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