Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
