connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
