Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
