Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
