I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
