that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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