I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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