If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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