My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
