we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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