Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
