I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
