That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
