Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
