My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
