Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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