Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
