Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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