I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
