Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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