listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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